The Best Cure for Stress

Is He human that he should change his mind? When he gives his blessings, he does not take them back.

Woke up at 3:30am feeling really stressed out about my job. I couldn't sleep. I had to go in the living room and lay on the floor and pray and read scripture until my heart was calm again. I hate that the economy is bad, that our every waking second is spent stressing out about things we should not even worry about. I hate that I worry.

So I read this scripture and it put my heart at peace. If the Isrealites can wander in the desert for 40 years and still get what was promised, I will just have to be patient. I know this doesn't make sense to anyone else because I am speaking from a heart that has been overwhelmed and then been calmed.

So, I guess I just fulfilled another one of my new year's resolution- I had a quiet time- a really good one this week. Next week, I am determined to have a more positive and uplifting time.

I'm planning on running today, I'll put my wrap on my leg to make sure it doesn't hurt. Monday, I go in for biopsy to see if it's just fat or if it's something more (cancer?).

We'll see......

Last Night

I am sticking to my new year's resolutions- I ate a very large salad last night and then promptly chased it up with a large bowl of Frozen Yogurt. This morning I stopped by the little bodega on my way to work and ordered a small cafe con leche and tostada. Yum. So, it seems that even though I'm sticking to my new year's resolutions, I'm negating it because of everything else.
So, another resolution today:
Once a week Cafe Con Leche y tostada
Once a week Frozen Yogurt
The trick is to not have to give up what you love completely.
I'm having alot of pain in my leg because of what the doctor calls a "Lipoma" which is a fat deposit deep in my muscle tissue. It's the size of a large globe grape and it's probably creeping into my blood vessels and putting pressure on them which causes the pain. He says the only way to get rid of it is liposuction.
It's almost the beginning of the year- I don't have money for a liposuction!!
What's worse is that I looked up what a Lipoma is and it could also be cancerous which my doctor failed to inform me. Because I'm such a hypochondriac, I've already decided I probably have cancer and have only months to live. Just like a few months ago when I had pinches in my chest, I was convinced I had had a small heart attack and they just couldn't find it. I could go on and on about my many ailments but I won't. I have to remember that I am in God's hands and everything happens as it's supposed to.
Anyway, tomorrow I will be doing my weight training instead of running to give my leg a rest. Friday I'll run 3 miles.

Out of bed at 7am

Reluctantly I dragged my sleeping butt out of bed this morning. My rabbit was running around me in circles thinking I was up to play with him so I had one hand on my exercise pants and one hand petting him trying to make him think that yes, I had gotten up just for him. I carry alot of guilt with this rabbit. I feel bad that he doesn't have a friend. He doesn't like my husband so in effect, I'm his whole world. Rabbits are the cutest pets in the world but they are very picky about who they love and don't like to be picked up. Or at least mine doesn't. He let's me only because he loves me.
I digress. I got up, put my exercise pants on and did two miles this morning. It's over with today, thank God. I don't have to run again for another two days. The great part of running? You always feel like you've accomplished something. You're out there freezing your butt off or sweating to death but you're completely alone with your music and you can feel your body getting stronger with every pump of your arms and pounding of your foot. You become aware of your breath, your lungs, you think through things, solve problems in your head. It's such a liberating experience.
Go out and run.

Too Tired

Ok, so...... This morning I didn't get up to run. I was too tired. When the alarm went off, I simply clicked on Snooze and kept right on snoozing for another hour. It may have had something to do with my husband getting up at 2:30 am to go fishing with his buddy. Or at least that was my excuse because I barely registered him leaving. But it's ok because I said it would either be Monday or Tuesday that I would run.
So, it's tomorrow for me. Unless I can drag my friend to go running with me tonight....in the dark....
I think about bringing my shoes and workout gear to work but we don't have showers and I would hate to stink for five hours after lunch.
So.... again....tomorrow AM. My next Blog will be from a refreshed -from-a-run Jessies Girl.
I CAN DO IT!!!

What the heck have I gotten myself into?

It's less than five weeks away now. I am running the ING Miami Half Marathon, and for all of you runners out there that snicker and say that you've been there, done that. Well, I haven't and it's new to me.
I don't really know why I decided to run in the first place. My husband tried to get me to run a few years ago in one of his hundreds of attempts to get me in shape. I flat out refused to run much and he eventually gave up.
Here I am, a couple of years later fighting to get up on Saturdays at 6:00am so that I can go lead a running group that nobody ever shows up to. I post posters, leave notices online and still I run. Alone.
This weekend I ran six miles. A couple of months ago, I could only run a mile without dying so this makes me extremely proud.
What keeps me running is the fact that I have found a job where it's basically my job to run the Miami ING 1/2. Next year I'll be doing the full if I can muster the courage.
Basically, I'm starting this blog so that I can motivate myself to keep running. If I blog about it on a regular basis, maybe I can keep motivated.
My 2010 Goals are:
1. Finish the 1/2 (woohoo!)
2. Become Fearless in 2010 (I'm working on how to accomplish this)
3. Spend one day a week in Meditation and talking to a higher being (in my case God and Jesus)
4. Eat green or leafy veges every single day
5. Fill my head with positive influences and motivational tapes (I've had a tough year, what can I say?)
6. Stick to a budget- yes it's a problem for many but I actually have a budget. My problem is wasting money on the crap that doesn't matter and then having to re-adjust my budget every day to accomodate that.
7. Finally learn the electric guitar.

That's it- it's not ten but honestly, I don't think I could remember 10 so don't hold it against me.

I will run On Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday and exercise on weights, etc. on Sunday. Wish me luck!